Patience

The joys of middle school

Four kids brought slime to class. They insist it helps them learn. The slime is multiplying every day.

The office has called three times so far this period.

Marky just walked over to the tissues, passed something to Ricky, picked up a tissue, threw it out, and walked back to his seat. What does Ricky have?

Someone is yelling and running down the hall. It sounds like they knocked that trash can over again.

Danny’s knee is bleeding. How did his knee start bleeding halfway through class?

New seating chart today but I screwed up, Terry and Mikey are too close. I need to remember to change that tomorrow.

Davey’s Chromebook isn't working and he needs to make a SmartPass to go to the bathroom.

A bag of Takis is crinkling but I don't know where it’s coming from. Is it Timmy again?

I know Tommy needs help with negatives but I know I'm gonna forget.

Joey just came in late, the counselor says it's excused, I need to change his attendance before the autodial goes out.

Okay, voices off, eyes up here.

I wait for silence.

"Here's an inequalit—"

Robby: "Mister, my side hurts."

Johnny: "That's rizz."

Brian: "What in the freaky Fridays?"

Deep breath.

There are plenty of days when I respond with frustration. Some teachers are blessed with enormous reserves of patience and positivity. That's not my natural state, unfortunately. For me it takes practice.

Things aren't going my way this class. I'm annoyed. But I can't show it. Frustration and negativity are contagious. If I respond with negativity, the students will match my energy.

There’s a spiral I end up in sometimes. I come in carrying some negativity. It’s usually not about the kids. The kids are great. I’m often frustrated with the adults at school. But I bring that to class. Then something happens, and I respond with less positivity and patience than students deserve. It starts a cycle: Students feed off the energy, I feel frustrated I responded that way, and I carry that frustration forward and do it again.

The key to breaking the cycle, for me, is to preempt it. When I’m feeling a bit down or a bit negative, I set a few reminders for myself. Before a tough class I pause. I journal for just a moment, two or three sentences. I remind myself to be positive, to be patient. I rehearse how I’ll respond to a common issue. It’s the best way I’ve found to shift my mindset. It might seem a bit hippy-dippy, but it works.

Incidentally, this is also a good strategy for student behavior. If a student has developed a bad habit, talking to them after the fact isn’t a good way to change that habit. Instead, preempt it. Talk to them at the beginning of class. Or if they’re looking for attention when the class comes together for a discussion, check in with them right before the discussion with a reminder. Bad habits are hard to break. The best way to break a habit is to preempt it, not to do a postmortem.